Stress

Everyone has stress .... including stay at home mums. Now, I
am stress from bad time management (never good at it), and
recently, feeling stress with a hardworking husband. He reads
alot, and are serious books like financial books, self
improvement books .. while me, only at cook books.
He can take a long time to read papers, and almost all sections,
from local news, to world news, to financial, to sports, while
me just like the KPO news on entertainment. Sounds like I am
a good for nothing. 一点也不长进。

I am not sure if I can keep up with my hubby. We may drift
apart if we go on like this. I do not know what we have in
common, besides the two kids ... :-(

我也有十年了

刚看到朋友提到她今年10th year anniversary了。不知她是纪念订婚十年， 还是结婚十年， 还是拍拖十年。 但我今年结婚十年了。戒指克着DDMM98. 我的结婚十年纪念日已过，但并没有什么仪式。再过一个半月，结婚十年纪念“年”也将走进历史。是有那么一点点难过， 但老公说还有很多个十年呢。我以为已经对“那些特别日子不被老公重视”的感觉麻木了，怎么还会难过呢？

enjoying life ?

Me ? Not really. But I have a friend telling me how she would
like to enjoy life like me. However, I did not know I have a life
that I can enjoy leh (ok, I do occassionally) .

I wake up early like every working adult does, except I do
manual jobs instead of sitting infront of the PC (on a cushioned
chair) in an air con environment. What manual jobs? Imagine
the cleaning lady that drops by your office, the cleaning
lady in the laundry shop, the chef in the hawker centre, the
teacher in the childcare etc. I think I hardly sit down accept
the 30 minutes per meal time (making sure  my kids eat) and
the time I spent infront of my PC (on cushioned chair, luckily)
which is usually at night after the kids sleep.

I am not complaining. I have to be in this job, cos I really
don't like to compete and "fight" in the working world. I
am not very competent, so I guess I am better off as a
SAHM where I do not need to compete with anyone.
Anyway, I guess competition do exist in SAHM world, if
I want to 钻牛角尖。 I have to ask myself, how come other
SAHM can manage the household so well alone, homeschool
their kids, cook nice delicious meals, etc etc ... while me ....

Aiya, I think I have to 认命. 我就是不比人家好啦。But I guess
I should try to improve on it soon ... to be on the positive side.

stupid mood

Its late, 220am, but its the usual time I sleep almost daily.
Tired but moody... has been almost 2 weeks. I thot it will come
and go as my "大姨妈” is round the corner earlier on, but now
that it has come and gone, I am still moody. I don't know what's
wrong but this is the place where I can talk to myself since
my friends are mostly not free now.

very 烦 leh. The meals are badly prepared, all cos I am moody.
When I am not in good mood, I am not in the mood to do
anything, so everything from meals to the housework are not
done in proper. Fed up. Have not been touching my baking and
beading too. Could it be early menopause?

Hope my mood will change for the better soon.

Now I think I shd go sleep, else I will have to drown
myself with coffee again.

I got to shop for PLUS sizes?

Been window shopping online .. nothing suits me, at least not
those within my budget. I have small breast, big waist, bigger
tummy. Some size charts just use height and bust size, so
worry that the waist can't fit. Got to look for those loose loose
cutting but usually those slim fit cutting looks nicer in the
pictures.

Was telling hubby just now .. old man, big tummy, rich, still
got woman want (even if it is for the money), but old woman,
think will not be so lucky if she is with big tummy.

Did try to do exercise .. doing sit up nightly for two months
few months ago, but suffer neck problem, perhaps method
not correct ? anyway, must work harder to get myself slim
down a little .. I am already wearing XL size pants!