Tuesday, September 22, 2009

怎麼我就愛哭?

又是發泄時間 -- 我又哭了。
今天是我出水痘的第七天。身上真的很多水痘,很多大大的水痘。又逢大姨媽要到訪的時候,大概心情不是很好,卻又聽到一則新訊息 -- 那就是“如果我要水痘快點好,我最好不要吃飯”。再加上,我會出那麼多,是因為我“熱“,”挨夜“。
我跟老公就開始討論關於我熱的問題。。。為甚麼我熱,但不會吃一點兒花生就生暗瘡。。,如我體弱,為甚麼沒常常生病。。。越說越難過,我就進房里哭了。
每次我哭,最好是不出聲, 反正出聲也沒人會理,會安慰。孩子知到我哭,告知老公。。。沒反應沒關係,已預料中,但出去吃藥時,老公問,難過甚麼,說几句都不可以嗎?我沒回答,因為還在哭,但心想,可以,但我難過就不可以嗎?
上回我病了十多天,也是被說“你熱啦,你挨夜啦,這個啦,那個啦”,難道我要生病嗎?是不是我生病,麻煩很多人,自己很輕鬆,家裡大小事要人家做,麻煩了人家?那對不起大家。。以後別做,累積起來給我做吧。我造成很多不便,最好我別生病是吧。
水痘是孩子傳給我的。。那早知他們甚麼大小事都叫老公做,那我不是可能不被傳染到了嗎?

1 comment:

Happy Homebaker said...

A few years ago, I had chicken pox, and I passed it to my kids one after another (my elder one had the jab, but he still got it, but less mild). My husband was around the first two days when I got it, then he went overseas for about 2 months. I was alone taking care of myself and my kids, it was the darkest days of my life. Since you have been thru it, you will probably understand what I went thru. My sisters were kind to offer to help buy groceries for us, and at night one of the them will cook and bring food for us until I was well enough to cook. I stayed at home for a whole month, didn't step out of the house (because of the horrible scars!). and my sisters were afraid to get the germs and pass on to other family members, so they just left the food and leave. One of my brothers helped to send my kids to school when they were well. I am fortunate to have many siblings, if not I don't know how to pull thru. Sometimes, I am like you, 'think too much, and care too much' (my husband always says I think too much)...to others, it's probably a small matter, but to me, it's like a big issue. Then I get upset when somehow, everything seems to turn around and became my fault lor. I wish I can 'don't care everything', then I will be a very carefree and happy person!