Tuesday, August 31, 2010

家變

題目夠驚人吧。別擔心,不是我的家。。。幾天前就想在這裡吐苦水了。。。但是,時間夜了,就不記得了。剛才1個鐘前才跟我媽通過電話。。。

我外婆不知何時開始,慢慢被老人癡呆症“侵襲”了。近幾年,更是退化到像嬰兒般,不會自己吃不會自己暍不會自己如厠。。。原本就是外公一人陪她,和照顧她,但最近外公跌倒了,自己也不方便做這麼多了。我媽媽,阿姨們,舅舅開始他們的輪班製。。。媽媽顧白天,二姨放工來喂飯,三姨陪過夜。

最近,媽媽在哪兒很不開心。。剛才还說在哪兒是一整天都不說話的,因為外公說我媽會氣死他。
我跟表妹談過,她說,我二姨也是會被外公嘮叨不停。。。是老人脾氣。。我於是勸我媽。。。媽媽才說。。。。

外公常常嘮叨她,沒讀書,沒錢,沒本事,沒學問。他不相信我媽說得話,做事的方法。。還要我媽聽他的,因為他會教她。但阿姨說得,他有聽。

外公不信任媽媽的辦事能力,但他越幫越忙。比如,外婆拉屎,邊走去廁所,邊拉。外公不信任她做,也來幫忙扶著外婆上廁所。。但外公不知踩到外婆的屎尿,还踏遍全家。既然,家裡的地上骯髒,幫外婆洗腳也沒用,那我媽先把外婆清洗乾淨,穿上褲子,就去抹地,才去洗外婆的腳。外公反而罵她不把外婆的紙尿布穿好,去顧地上幹甚麼。

外公也好幾天都穿同樣的衣褲,整天抽煙不停,整個家都是煙味,有誰能待上一整天?衣褲不換,基本衛生沒了,媽媽怎麼敢在哪兒吃喝?

不止,外公說阿姨們做工,累了還要去照顧他們很可憐,但因為媽媽平日沒做工,就是很空閒。加上,阿姨們有自己的家和小孩要照顧,我弟弟33歲了,外公就覺得不須要看顧。可是,在媽媽心裡,不管孩子多大都是小的,在加上我弟弟還沒有老婆幫照顧,我媽媽也和爸爸離婚了,所以只有媽媽和弟弟同一屋檐下,媽媽如果常不在家,弟弟就是孤零零一個人。

現在,媽媽在哪兒,沒跟外公講話。。想必,日子一定很難過。整天吸二手煙也不是好事。兩個老人也不要請人來幫。。。這個難題怎麼解?

最讓我難過的是,外公會批評我媽媽沒讀書,沒知識,沒錢 等。。。她是最大的,以前家裡窮,她應該是幫忙家裡,才沒去念書。。。這又怪得了她?

4 comments:

ky said...

Hear already very sad ... don't know what to say except that perhaps, if u r close to your aunties n cousins, is it possible to discuss possible to hire a maid? At least there's someone to do the cleaning up while ur mother can attend to your grandma and someone who is strong enough to carry your grandma if needs. Ur mum will object but all the reasoning that what if something happens to the 2 old folks, how?

sherlyn said...

We only gathers when it is grannies' bday and CNY but with me going into msia, I m missing all the CNY's meet up... can say close still but all are busy with own life.

Just recently I asked two of my cousins, why are we not having meetup like other friends' relatives, and they both give the same answer, busy lor.

The two old folks do not want a maid, so no way lor. The siblings are ok to get outside help de. Granddad stubborn.

I did ask my mother how come she did not talk to her sisters, but there is no chance for her to say since grandpa is always there. Also my aunt give the same answer as "just do as he says lah, he also nagged at me .." but for my mum, it is the whole day, so perhaps it is quite unbearable.

I just feel that , not no one cares, but everyone is too busy to put in effort to find solution. One of the eldest cousin just had a miscarriage during the last term of her pregnancy .. otherwise I may try call for a meeting with all the eldest cousin of all the different households. The other eldest just change new job, very busy.

haiz .. just dont know what to say or do too ... just drag and see how lor...

April said...

I can't imagine whole day kena nagged. I kena nagged for 1 second I already cannot tahan. But I thot ur mum is working too?

sherlyn said...

hehe, dun think anyone can stand nagging ...

ya she is working, night shift weekends mah, so go there daily when she has no work...