Communication

Today, sent a few sms to my hubby. Usually I am always afraid that I will burst the quota given, but this month I am far from that. Sometimes I sent him messages abt what my girl says which is rather hilarious, or little complains here and there. Today, our sms exchanges are abt two issue, 1) me not cooking and eating out, if he is ok, where and when to meet; 2) picking up a cookware set that I am given by participating in the 3M survey. I cannot count how many we have exchange cos lazy to get up to the phone at it's charging "station", but it is not really alot. One of the message towards the end read something like "Do not reply. Don't waste your sms".

It is a simple sentence, but perhaps of emo monster, I read more into it... I feel that I am asked to keep quiet. Anyway , ya I did.

His new job is so busy, that his mind is still on job when he is at home. He is usually tired and sleeps/doze easily. On other hand, I try to get what i want to get across at every possible moment, like when he stopped at traffic lights, when he is eating meals, other than these times, I feel that I am disturbing him. I ever wonder to myself, do we ever speak more than 10 sentences a day.

We originally wanted to go HK disney, but because of the high price, we intend to postpone to next year. I did mentioned to him that if he is serious, then I can always keep a lookout of offers.. and he say ok.

Recentky, Cathay has promotions. I told him while he is washing the dishes. He listens but did not say anythg after that. Just now I told him jetstar has promo to NZ... and he say, where got time to go, kids must ... I said the travel date can be somewhere next year, then nothing from him again after I stopped. Will we ever get to travel on our own?

My darling girl

I should be writing this post a few days ago .... when my feelings to be expressed into this post is so strong ...

I want to let out .. I feel I owe my girl alot ... during the morning, I will spare at least 30 minutes for my boy, to go thru his work with or without him. After hectic morning of preparing lunch, coaching etc, I have a long afternoon. During the afternoon, i will usually plan in alot of different housework, like washing toilet (30 minutes), mopping floor (45-1hr if no rinse), ironing (2hr, smtimes 1), and after these housework, there left not much time to spent with her as I need to prepare for dinner.

I feel guilty for not spending time with her, but when I have that 5 or 10 minutes, she may be reading on her own (she usually does that after her lunch while I am eating mine) and she would not want to be disturb.

I wish many times to stop cooking for a week or a month, so that i can free up some time daily for her .. but I cannot stand the idea of eating those outside food for so long.

Recently even worse, I spent a few afternoon planning for a sabah trip that is only 4 days 3 nights .. she is so used to me being busy that now she seldom complains ..

She does her work without being told...she laughs on her own when she watches her TV .. everything she can do it on her own... I shd make amendments soon.... very sad when I think abt this ..

Mutual support

Dh will be touching down SG in 3 hours time. In this new job, he travels alot .. recently he has been out alternate weeks ...

Last night, he called back .. considered routine call .... he sighs quite a bit .. he hopes he does not need to travel that much .. cos his local work is piling up .. you see, when he travels, he has to handle the stuff in that country, plus there are work in local country to be done too ...

Somehow, I feel very sad .. pity him a little, cos he is the only person working to support the family of four. I am not a big spender .. all the more so when I am only a stay at home mother, who doesn't need working clothes, working shoes, working bags, cosmetic etc .. and I do not go facial, hair salon etc too. Money is not really an issue yet, but somehow he wants to have a better life for the kids so he is working hard for their future. It is like he feels like resting, but cannot rest.

I see alot of supportive husbands around me .. some goes to school to pick kids up with the wives, some brings the kids out every weekend etc .. not that my husband is not supportive .. he is, totally, but sometimes he cannot be around .. sometimes he is too busy and tired ... so I commented in FB and glad (oops) that there are alot of other busy husbands around. However, I love it that one of my friend commented, that we can, on the other hand, be supportive to them.

I don't know how to help him get out of this "extremely" busy life. He is basically a very family oriented man, but cos of this busy job, he cannot devote more time to the family. He often feels stress , very stress, till he aches all over. What can I do ?????